Cadence
by TFRiD Queen
Summary: Oneshot JohanOC. You come back for a visit, run into someone you oncestill? loved, and things just inexplicably happen. What can you do? Loosely based off the song Cadence by Anberlin.


I don't own Cadence (that belongs to Anberlin) nor Yu-Gi-Oh! GX. Italics indicate thought, bold italics are 'inner-self thoughts'.

* * *

"...Cadence, well I'd dance with the dead cause I believe, yes I belie--"

"Johan! Phone call!"

The music stopped abruptly. "Now, Clara? I thought I told you not to interrupt me while I'm practicing." Johan began to play the guitar again, when--

"But it's her!"

With this interruption, Johan laid the guitar on the floor and went into the kitchen, where his six-year-old cousin--Clara--clutched the telephone. "She called!"

"Who's 'she'?"

"You know her!"

"I know more than one girl, Clara."

Clara rolled her eyes, then whispered, "It's Antaria, your girlfriend-" Johan snatched the phone and put it to his ear.

"Hello? Antaria?"

"...Johan. It's been a long time since we've seen each other. I know this may not be the best time, but..."

"But what?"

"Would you like to meet me at the café?"

For a moment neither spoke. This wasn't some casual, 'hey-let's-catch-up' date. Oh no, not if she wanted to meet there... This was something more serious.

"...Sure. The same place, huh?"

"Yeah. See you later then?"

"Later."

He put the phone back and started looking for his jacket.

"Hey, Johan, where're you going?" Clara asked as she handed Johan his jacket and scarf.

"Out. To the café." He put the jacket on.

"With Antaria?"

"...Yeah. With Antaria."

----------------------

This particular café, popular with the young crowd, stood a ways out from the hub of the city. While not the most glamorous of spots, it was nonetheless popular for its cozy interior and relaxed atmosphere.

Antaria stood outside. Johan, she knew, was almost never late. He was quite punctual, as was she. The noise of a motorcycle jarred her from her thoughts. She blinked and saw Johan, his helmet under his arm, the same arms that made her feel safe and warm when he--Antaria mentally slapped herself and flushed a dull red.

_**Stop thinking like that, you closet perv**__What the--I am not a pervert!__**Really? No dirty thoughts at all**_

Antaria decided to stop fighting with her inner conscious, lest Johan think she was ignoring him on purpose.

"Hey Antaria. How are you?" They briefly hugged each other before parting, slightly embarrassed at the sudden display of affection. She noticed his eyes were still brilliant, still the same bright green that occasionally changed to teal, as though to match his outfit.

"I'm good. And you? How's school going in Japan?"

He chuckled slightly. "One at a time, please. Shall we enter?"

-----------------------------

They order their drinks (cappuccino for her, mocha for him) and talked about their lives.

"So, how's school? Duel Academy, right?"

"It's a good school, just as good as North Academy. I've made quite a few new friends already."

"No new girlfriend?"

Johan almost choked on his coffee.

"S-sorry?!"

Antaria laughed at his reaction. "I'm just teasing. But really, I'm surprised that you're still single. A cute guy like you..." she absentmindedly stirred her drink.

Johan fought the blush that was rising from his neck. "I haven't really thought about dating since...you know..." He didn't bother to elaborate, instead, staring intensely at the swirls the cream made in his drink. The silence was uncomfortable, especially since other couples around them were chatting away without a care in the world.

"So, how are things going with your band? I heard you guys are doing pretty well. Is guitarist a good spot for you?" She tried not to make her voice sound forced, but what was one supposed to talk about with an ex-boyfriend anyway?

A sudden relief flooded through his body. Music. Yes, this was a topic he could talk about, a universally safe subject…most of the time, anyway. "We've been doing a lot of new stuff. It's great to try out different styles of music and then see how they come together. I was actually practicing a new song when you called." Their eyes locked for a moment, then both looked away, as if not wanting the other to know what the glance really meant.

_Great job, Antaria, staring at him like he's yours._

Johan was undergoing similar thoughts.

_Strike one. Better stop that before you look like a moron, Johan._

Better move on to another safe topic. "How's school for you?" he asked. School. How could you go wrong there?

"It's pretty typical, lecture, homework, the occasional test, repeat. Although, since you're in Japan now, it's gotten a little quieter. I miss the concerts..."

Johan couldn't help but feel guilty. It wasn't exactly his fault, but he did make the choice to become a transfer student, and while they weren't going out anymore, it didn't make him feel any less empty inside. "Well, it's only for this year. I'll be back next year." he tried to console her.

"Yeah. Just in time for college." She smiled bitterly at him and Johan was unable to swallow the coffee in his mouth.

_Ouch...strike two, Johan, you'd better watch what you say._

Neither said too much as they finished their drinks. Despite Antaria's protests, Johan paid, insisting that, although meeting only as friends, it was his treat. To make up for being gone, he said, and Antaria couldn't think of an argument in time.

He put his helmet on again, and she started towards the path that would take her home. Yet, she knew, that this was very possibly the last time they would see each other for a long time, if ever.

_**Don't just stand there! Do something!**__ What do you mean 'do something'?! __**You're just going to stand here and let him leave? Even you can think of something better than that!**_

Before she fully realized what she was doing, her feet were already taking her in the opposite direction.

"Johan, wait..." she stood up and attempted to catch her breath.

"Antaria, what, is something wrong?" He gently adjusted her scarf, which had become undone. Antaria could feel the blood rushing to her face as he did that.

"It's just that...I was wondering, if you wouldn't mind..."

God, she was so nervous. What if he said no?

"If I wouldn't mind...what?"

She shut her eyes and blurted out the last part of her thoughts, as fast as she could. "Ifyouwouldntmindtakingmeforaride!" She slowly peered at him through squinted eyes as Johan attempted to decipher what she had just said. "You know...like we used to..." she whispered.

It took Johan a full three seconds before he put together what she had just said. "Oh! Of course. You've gotten more shy, you know." he teased as he put his helmet on her.

"Oh, but you don't have one--"

"It'll be fine." he interrupted her. "Besides, it feels good to ride without one for a change. As long as the cops don't catch us." he winked at her, and Antaria was surprised at how warm it made her feel. "Hold on tight. It's been a while since I rode with a passenger, so if we die, I'm sorry."

She shook her head and wrapped her arms around his waist. The motion unexpectedly pushed past memories to the surface of Johan's mind.

_Man, were her arms always this skinny?_

The two of them drove around for a while, with Johan taking the scenic route, going to all of their old places. The lake. The park with the swing set. Central Plaza where they used to stay past midnight, with no one but themselves and the stars. Johan could feel his heart squeeze painfully in his chest as they passed by each spot.

Eventually, they arrived in front of the apartment building where Antaria stayed by herself during the school year.

_There. That was one thing. __**But**__**it's still light out. You still have another opportunity!**_

Antaria mentally groaned. Great, she was battling her mind...again.

_Like what? If you have any bright ideas, I'd love to hear them._

"Would you like to come in?" The words tumbled out of her mouth before she could fully register what it meant.

"Uh, well, I don't want to keep you from your studies..." Johan was honestly at a loss for words. An invitation in, after all, implied more than just friendly conversation...

_Johan Andersen, get your mind out of the gutter. NOW._

"No, please, I would...really enjoy your company." Once again, the words came out before she could think about what they really meant. _Great, now he probably thinks the only reason I invited him is because I want to sleep with him. Which, admittedly, isn't such a bad idea..._ "I-I mean, we still have some time, right? And who knows when we're going to have time to catch up again?" she quickly blurted out, hoping he wouldn't notice her stuttering.

"Well, if you say so..." Johan himself was a little shocked, but he managed to hide it better than Antaria as they headed inside.

The apartment, as it was only used for roughly six months at a time, had only two rooms, not counting the bathroom. The furnishing was sparse but they got the job done: two couches, with one that could be turned into a futon, TV set, a small coffee table, and a tall lamp made up the living room. The kitchen counter, aside from the neccessary fridge/microwave/toaster oven trio, was covered with a random assortment of cuttlery and dishes. The bedroom was even simpler: a drawer for clothes and a bed, with an alarm clock set on a stool next to the bed.

Once inside, Johan took off his coat and put it on the couch, like he used to. Likewise, Antaria did the same with her scarf. The two then settled onto the couches, facing each other, with the coffee table between them.

Their voices together passed as any other conversation one might have with a friend, the usual retelling of memories, of significant and insignificant details they encountered during the past few months; teachers who gave too much homework, teachers who didn't know how to teach class, the usual gossip. Johan found himself having a sudden sense of deja vu. There was the conversation, combined with the earlier meeting in the cafe and the motorcycle ride; together, it felt like the end of any other day when they used to go out. Except that now, they weren't, and suddenly, Johan couldn't seem to grasp the reason why they stopped.

"And so I ended up asking--"

"Antaria. Why did you want to break up with me?"

Antaria's voice suddenly lulled. She knew there was a risk of this topic coming up when she invited him in, but somehow, she knew that she couldn't run from it forever.

Johan knew it was a thorny subject to bring up, especially after the pleasant time they had earlier. Yet the more he thought about it, the less sense it made: it wasn't as if they had some horrific fight that ended with screams and tears or (God forbid this ever happen) one of them cheated on the other. No, it was because...

"It's because you knew I was going abroad and you didn't want a long-distance relationship, isn't it?"

She didn't know how to respond. Yes, that had been the reason at the time, but looking back, it was a cowardly and selfish reason.

"Antaria."

She winced unexpectedly at his voice; Johan felt his chest squeeze when she shrank back, like a cornered animal, but he knew if he didn't press her, he would never know the truth.

"...Yeah. I guess so." She avoided his gaze and focused instead on the wood grain of the table.

He knew deep in his mind that this was the reason, and yet, for some reason, Johan couldn't help but feel angry. "So. All because I was going away for one year." He tried to sound neutral, but his efforts failed and the statement came out more like an accusation.

"That's what I remember. But only because at the time I--"

"Because what? I told you I was willing to keep a long-distance relationship. Yet you decided to break up anyway." He was trying hard not to be angry with her, but he couldn't stop the frustration and pain that was swelling up within him.

Antaria knew she had to say something, before they both got carried away and ended up arguing for the wrong reasons. "I was scared! I didn't know what I was supposed to do! You were the first person I ever felt something for." She then promptly burst into sobs, not even bothering to reach for a tissue.

Johan felt the weight in his heart increase. _Lovely. You made her cry. Stupid, stupid Johan. Why is it that you always do things you regret immediately afterwards?_ Despite his guilt, he had a feeling that if he attempted to apologize now, it would only make things worse. So he wisely kept his mouth shut as Antaria explained her fill, punctuated by occasional hiccups.

"A-and so...when you said th-that you were...leaving...I thought to myself...how can I keep this...relationship going? What if something went wrong? And in the end...I just wanted all the fear to go away..." She had mostly stopped crying now, but she still didn't bother to wipe away her tears.

Johan sighed, but not so loud so she would hear. Well, he should've expected this. Or, at least, he should have been more understanding about it. Insecurities could drive anything apart, especially something such as a first-time relationship. Not knowing what else to say, he instead leaned over and gently wiped off her tears, hoping she wouldn't reject him. She didn't; instead, she rather appreciated his attempt at an apology (Johan was never good with words in delicate situations), and closed her own hand around his.

There was only silence until the clock in the hallway chimed, letting the two slightly-startled teenagers know that it was now seven o'clock. Reluctantly, Johan got up to leave. It was almost unthinkable to leave after all that happened, but he knew his family would start to wonder if he wasn't home in time for dinner. In a mix of embarrassment and annoyance, he reiterated this to her.

"I'll just...let myself out. And, by the way," he stopped by the door, his back to her, "despite everything...I really enjoyed today. It was good...to see you again. Sorry." The last part was a whispered, so soft she almost didn't catch it.

The voices in her head started again.

_**He's leaving. Aren't you going to do anything?**__ Do what? Now's not exactly the best time for anything, in case you haven't noticed already__**. Well, at least say something! Otherwise you'll never get him back!**__ Why would I want him back? __**Why wouldn't you?**_

He was expecting her to say something, perhaps something along the lines of 'sorry' or 'bye', or even having her throw a pillow at him. What he didn't expect was her arm thrusting out from behind him and slamming the door shut.

"What the-- Is someth--" Johan's sentence was cut off as Antaria crushed her mouth on his, causing his eyes to widen considerably, then relax and finally, close. When she pulled apart for air, both were panting slightly, their cheeks flushed and eyes half-closed. "So. Care to explain what that was all about?" he asked, his voice slightly husky from the lack of air. Antaria said nothing, instead choosing to bury her head in his chest.

He laughed at her actions. They'd both learned early in their relationship that neither of them were particularly talkative in situations such as these. They preferred actions to do the talking instead.

"Would you...mind if we starting seeing each other again?" Her voice was muffled against his shirt, but he heard anyway.

"Sure... I'd like that very much." He ruffled the top of her head and lifted her chin for another kiss. The kiss soon turned to hands through hair, which turned into hands roaming in places other than hair, which turned to--

"_And if these are my parting words  
Then this, my last request  
Hold me here, until I sleep  
If I burn, then I burn for you--"_

Johan growled slightly against her lips as he fumbled for his cell phone, irritated at the interruption. Upon seeing the caller ID, he hung up without even answering, and tossed the phone onto the couch, where it would stay until he could think coherent thoughts again. So when the ringtone played again--

"_And if these are my parting words  
Then this, my last request--"_

--he ignored it. Let it ring. He had more important things to do.

_"The closer I come to you  
The closer I am to finding God  
You're a miracle to me..."_

_ ----------------------------------_

After a four-year hiatus, this is the best that I could come up with. j/k Originally a school project, I just thought I'd post it since, well, it IS a fanfic. Yeah, I know, there's another OC in the YGOGX section with the name Antaria (but by the time I found out it was too late to change the name), but uh, this Antaria and that one aren't the same character. They just happen to have the same name, funnily enough. Thanks to Mayet and Pyrestrike for translation/general critique. If you enjoyed this, great, if you didn't, well, you can't please everyone.


End file.
